Castaway
by TheRealProtector
Summary: Keladry of Mindelan, the probationary page, is not allowed to return. Instead of being shipped off to the convent, she runs off. When Kel gets into a fight she can't win, she is rescued by the Own, but not before a part of her has broken into a million pieces. Can she get herself back together again and become a warrior against society's wishes?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of this. This setting and these characters all belong to Tamora Pierce, not me.**

It all started with that one day. That one fateful day…

"You sent for me, my lord," she said.

Lord Wyldon sighed and turned. "Sit down, girl."

Kel hesitated, then sat.

Wyldon absently massaged his right arm. "I want you to listen to me. I speak to you as I would to my daughters," he said, and continued, "Consider the future. Soon, your body will change. What if you fall in love and foul up a group of knights because your thoughts were on your heart? Or you get crippled by an accident? Girls are maidens, and not warriors. You will leave for the convent tomorrow morning. Keladry of Mindelan, you are dismissed.

Keladry of Mindelan, known to her friends as Kel, did not allow herself to glare at the training master. She did not let herself succumb to the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. Instead, she forced herself to rise and walk out the door without once looking back. Once she reached her room, however, her emotions got the better of her.

"I didn't deserve that!" she screamed into her pillow. "I worked harder than anyone. I was the best in the class. How could he? How could he?" Her screams gave way to sobs, great body-wrenching sobs. Kel heard a quiet peeping by her ear and turned only to see Crown and ten other sparrows watching her concernedly. She realized that she needed to pull herself together, and fast.

"I have to go. I'm very sorry. I'd stay here if I could, but I'm being forced to leave. Don't worry about food; I'll make sure that Salma feeds you. I'll miss you all," Kel told the sparrows quietly.

She made her way to Daine's rooms, making sure that no one saw her as she slipped through the halls. It didn't take long before the door was opened by a cat-sized, light blue dragonet.

"Who is it, Kitten? Oh, it's you, Kel. What would you like?"

"I… can't stay… I leave the palace tomorrow. Would you please look after Peachblossom? Just make sure that he doesn't get sold to someone who will use him as a plow horse, or used by someone who uses spurs…" Kel looked at Daine with pleading in her eyes.

"Of course, Kel. We'll miss you at the palace, and I'm sure all the animals- especially Peachblossom- will miss you, too. I'll make sure that Peachblossom is waiting for you when you come back someday. I have faith that you will. Goddess bless, Keladry," Daine stated solemnly.

Kel looked away, unable to look at Daine's pity-filled eyes. "Thank you, Daine, but I doubt I'll be back. Thank you for everything. Farewell."

That done, Kel returned to her room. She couldn't bear to face all of her friends who had helped her, loved her, and believed in her. She couldn't stand their anger at the training master, their protestations, or their looks of pity. She wouldn't, couldn't, tell them that she had failed. So she quickly packed up a small bag containing tunics, breeches, and the like, in addition to her blade-sharpener. She grabbed her glaive, bow, and arrows, and carefully strapped on her precious belt knife.

Keladry of Mindelan looked around her rooms one last time with tears in her eyes. This was where she belonged, but she couldn't stay here. But even if she couldn't stay here, she refused to go to the convent. No, Keladry of Mindelan would just have to keep fighting. Little did she know just how difficult that would become.

**A/N: this is my first story, so bear with me. It might be a bit rough, but just give it a try. Feel free to give criticism, because I know that it won't be top notch.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing- it's all Tamora Pierce's**

Kel knew that she couldn't leave without saying goodbye to Peachblossom, even if she had talked to Daine about him. She slipped down to the stables and walked over to his stall.

She went into his stall and began talking to him face to face, "Hey, boy. I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave. Lord Wyldon kicked me out. I talked to Daine, and she said that she'd make sure you were in good hands. If I could take you with me, I would, but I can't. I'm so sorry. I'll try my very best to see you again someday, I promise. I'll miss you so much! Please be good with Daine. Oh, Peachblossom, what am I going to do?" Kel buried her face in his neck and let a few hot tears trickle down her face. "I guess I'll just have to find my way. You'll always be in my heart as my most faithful friend. Goodbye."

And with that, she left the stable, and continued outside of the castle grounds. She walked through the streets of Corus before finally reaching the edge of Corus. She turned around and let her eyes rest on Corus for the last time before slowly turning and continuing into the forest on the South Road. She didn't have any idea where she was going, except that she was going away. She knew that if she actually wanted to get somewhere, it would take quite a while on foot, but that was fine with her.

* * *

After waiting and waiting for her, Nealan of Queenscove finally decided that it was time for him to go and find Kel. He knocked on her door, but there was no answer. He knocked again, more persistently. "Kel? Are you in there? Kel? Why aren't you responding?" He yelled.

When no one answered him, he tried turning the doorknob and found that it was unlocked. When he entered Kel's room, he discovered that Kel was not in there. However, everything was shockingly neat, and many of her things were gone, including her Yamani cats. It was then that Neal noticed the small slip of paper lying on Kel's bed. He quickly picked it up and scanned over it.

Neal fell onto the bed, holding tightly to the note. "Oh, Kel," he quietly wailed, "I'm so sorry. You were the best; you didn't deserve this. Don't get into too much trouble, and never give up. Never, ever!"

With that, he got up and was about to leave the room when he saw a brown package on the bed, addressed to himself and his friends. He made sure that he had both the note and the package and went to find his friends

It didn't take him long. He looked around the study room at five expectant faces.

"Well," Prince Roald asked, "Where's Kel?"

Neal shook his head wearily and replied, "She couldn't stay. The Stump kicked her out, so she ran away. Here, read the note for yourselves."

Prince Roald took the note and began to read it out loud.

_Dear Neal, Seaver, Faleron, Cleon, Roald, and Merric,_

_I guess it's pretty obvious that I wasn't allowed to stay. I refuse to go to the Convent, no matter what, but I don't rightfully know where I'm planning to go. I'll try to write every so often, but don't plan on finding me if I don't want to be found. I'm so sorry that I failed you. All I can say is that I won't stop fighting. Don't do anything stupid to Lord Wyldon on my behalf. I don't want him to think that he beat me, because he hasn't. Promise me that you'll continue the war on hazing. Don't let Joren and his cronies get away with anything. I'll miss you all very much. Oh, and by the way, make sure that Neal eats his vegetables. I'm so sorry to leave without saying goodbye. I promise someday you'll see me again._

_All Gods Bless,_

_Kel_

The room erupted in a cacophony of noise.

"How could she think it was her fault?"

"She was the best! Why'd he kick her out?"

"It's not fair!"

"We should go and look for her!"

Roald and Neal were the only quiet ones, and in the end it was Price Roald who calmed everyone down.

"We all know that it wasn't fair and that Lord Wyldon was just being prejudiced. However, there's nothing we can or should do about it. Kel did say not to do anything or let him think that he won. We have to honor her wishes. And we all know that if Kel doesn't want us to find her, we won't find her. I'm sure she's long gone by now. We have to keep going… for Kel." Roald's quiet speech did the trick and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Hang on," Merric asked, "What's in the package?"

Neal carefully tore off the brown paper wrapping and opened up a box that contained 6 waving Yamani cats. He handed one cat to each of them, and read the little note inside of the package out loud before the group of boys went off in their own directions.

_Just a little something for you all to remember me by, since I don't know when I'll see you next. I figure you'll all need some luck getting through your page and squire years._

_Kel_

Neal walked numbly down to the infirmary to visit his father. The Duke knew by looking at his son that something was wrong, and the two sat down to talk.

"What's wrong?" Duke Baird asked.

"It's Kel. The St- Lord Wyldon kicked her out even though she was better than any of us, and worked twice as hard. Mithros, she taught me the best lesson in chivalry I've ever had when she was a ten-year-old! How could he force her to leave?"

"That I can't say. I'm sorry, for all the good that _that_ does. I, too, believe that she deserved to continue training. Will she be going to the convent, then?"

"No. That's basically the only thing that she said- that she _wouldn't _go to the Convent. She didn't even say goodbye! She just left a stupid note!"

"I'm sorry, Neal. I know that you'll miss her. I'm sure that she'll be back someday, ready to prove Lord Wyldon wrong. Now, go and get some sleep."

What Neal and his father didn't know was that right now, Kel was camped out in the forest, thinking almost the same things as he and his father were. What they didn't know was that Kel felt terrible for not saying goodbye in person. What they didn't know was that she was just then vowing that she would someday return to show Lord Wyldon the error of his ways.

**And… cut! I know that the chapters are short; I'm trying to write them longer but as a high school student it can be difficult to find a lot of time. By the way, what weapons did Kel have at the end of First Test? I know she had her glaive and her belt knife, but did she have a bow? I don't think she had a sword that belonged to her… anyway if you know please let me know. Also, I honestly have no clue where this is going so would you rather hear a story about Kel and Aly or Kel and Raoul? Kel and Raoul she'd probably go back to page training, Kel and Aly would be a spyfic. Let me know which you'd rather 'cause I can't decide! Thank you to everyone who reads!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: This belongs to Tamora Pierce. All of these characters (and Tortall itself) belong to Tamora Pierce**

Kel woke up at the crack of dawn to birds chirping in the trees above her. As she stretched and looked around, she noticed a few sparrows flitting around. Those flitting sparrows happily flew over to her when they noticed that she was awake.

"Crown? You came? I hope you know that I don't know where I'm going, and there might not be much food," Kel told the eleven sparrows gathered around her, "But I sure am glad to have some friends with me. I have a feeling I'm going to get pretty lonely."

The sparrows watched as Kel filled her canteen and splashed her face with water from a nearby stream, did a few pattern dances with her glaive, and packed up her bags.

"Alright. I'm ready to go. By the way, if you see any game, let me know. I'd like some breakfast," Kel told the sparrows, thinking "What am I doing talking to a bunch of birds as if they'd talk back. I guess I must miss my friends more than I thought… My friends. I wonder what they did when they got my note. I hope they aren't mad at me. And I wonder if they've found out that I ran off yet. Probably not, it's very early…"

Thoughts bounced through Kel's head rapid fire. However, she bore down on them, for she knew that she had to decide where she was going. The more she thought about it, the more she leaned towards going to Shang. "After all," she thought, "I started training at six years old, and then I went through page training for a year. Surely they'd at least give me chance- which Lord Wyldon never did."

These thoughts made up her mind. Since she was already traveling along the South Road, she would continue along it for a good while before branching off towards where the Shang where based in Tortall.

* * *

"What do you mean, 'she's gone'?" Exclaimed the King of Tortall.

"Exactly what I said, sire. I did not believe Keladry of Mindelan to be as good as the boys, and therefore dismissed her as a page. However, it seems that she decided that she was too good for the convent," sneered the training master.

"You believed that the first girl to try for knighthood- stubborn Keladry of Mindelan- would just sit back and go meekly off to the convent to be a court lady?" Exclaimed the King incredulously.

"I _believed_ that she would do the thing that I had ordered her to do and was best for her," replied Lord Wyldon.

The King of Tortall made an effort to calm himself down. He knew how angry this would make Thayet and Alanna, and quite frankly he was angry himself. He had been glad that a girl had finally tried out for knighthood.

"Since she appears to have run away instead of going to the convent, we ought to send out troops to look for her. In your opinion, should she be brought back to her parents or to the convent," queried the King.

"It is not my decision whether or not troops are sent out, but I agree that it is a good idea. Mithros knows what could happen to a lone girl out there. I believe that she should be sent to her parents. If you really think that she'll hate the convent that much, she would only run away again," Lord Wyldon responded.

"Very well. Thank you, Lord Wyldon."

* * *

The Knight Commander of the King's Own was roused by a servant, telling him that the King had requested his precense in half a bell's time. Grumbling about Kings who never let their friends sleep in, Raoul tidied himself up and headed off to meet the King.

"Ah! There you are, Raoul," the King said with a tight smile.

"Yes, here I am. What was it that forced you to wake me so early after we had just returned from the field, sire?" Raoul said, with a mock exasperated tone.

"I'm terribly sorry that it's so soon, but could you send a squad or two out to search for pa- for Keladry of Mindelan? Wyldon said she couldn't stay, told her she had to go to the convent, and she proceeded to run off," the King said rather quickly.

"He kicked her out? How could he? I was with her when she was leading a spidren hunting party and battling spidrens, and she was far better then any of the other first or second years. Mithros, she was commanding them!" Raoul exclaimed.

"Yes, well, I'm none too happy about it either, but there's really not much I can do about it except to find her," the King stated unhappily.

"Oh, gods! Good luck breaking this to Alanna! I _really _don't envy you, Jon!" Raoul's dark eyes were shining with mirth as he struggled to hide laughter. "And, sire, could I just take the company? I'd like to go out, to be honest."

The King of Tortall glared at his friend and said, "I'm planning to get Numair to ward me before going to talk to her, don't worry. And yes, you have permission to take the company. No one knows where she's gone, except that she's likely outside of Corus by now. Good luck, Raoul. And when you find her, please bring her back to Corus."

Raoul nodded and set off to find his men and alert them of their mission. He doubted that they'd be happy to be called back out just to search for a runaway girl, but he couldn't care less. He was determined to find Keladry of Mindelan.

* * *

It didn't take Kel very long to figure out that walking places on foot was going to take even longer than she had realized. She wasn't sure where she was, but it had been around a week and she was sure that she had not gone nearly as far as she wanted to in that period of time. She spent her days doing pattern dances, running and walking towards Shang, and hunting. Food was scarce, and while the sparrows got their daily nutrition from nuts and berries and even brought Kel some of their findings, Kel hadn't managed to bring down much game. As a result, Kel made sure that archery practice was added to her daily routine. The lack of food, combined with the constant exercise, always left her exhausted at the end of the day. Kel knew that she would have to stop in the next village to buy some food if she hoped to keep her strength up. She didn't have much money on her, for she usually just asked her parents to send her a share of money when she needed it for things like Midwinter gifts. However, she had enough to buy herself a good bit of food that would last her for a time if she was careful.

In another week's time, Kel was hungry enough to stop in the village that she found and buy herself ten gold nobles' worth of rolls. Satisfied with her purchase, she continued on her way. She hadn't had any trouble with bandits or hillmen, for which she was grateful. The rolls, small amounts of game that she brought down with her arrows, and fruit and nuts that the sparrows brought her kept Kel from going hungry for another couple of weeks. It was hard for Kel to believe that she'd been traveling for almost a month. No one on the road paid any attention to the fairly tall girl that walked on foot, but even so, Kel usually stayed in the forest to avoid notice. All that she needed was for someone to recognize her and send her back to the convent. She had no idea that an entire company was still out looking for her, wondering where in the world an unmounted twelve-year-old girl could have gone.

Although Kel's archery was vastly improved, and she was now a very good shot, she didn't have much luck taking down game. The animals usually stayed away from the larger roads, and Kel did not want to go far from the road in fear of getting lost. The result of this was that her bread supply was practically depleted, and Kel was losing weight. She knew that she would lose strength if she lost more weight, but there wasn't much that she could do about it. Crown and the rest of the sparrows that had tagged along kept Kel's spirits up when they would otherwise had been down in the dumps. Kel talked to them as if they were people, and although they couldn't talk back, they were a constant comfort to her.

**A/N: So... Here's the third chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who's now following and has reviewed or favorites, it means a ton to me! I am writing around one chapter every 2-3 days, but as time goes on it will get slightly slower due to me getting into the middle of the term. Thanks again for reading!**

**By the way, I'm sorry, but this is going to be a Kel and Raoul ****fic. NOT a pairing, but it will involve the 2 of them as main characters. I have NO idea how long it's going to be; I currently have only figured out through the fifth chapter. I'm making this up as I write, so bear with me. But anyway, depending on how long it ends up being, I promise to write a Kel and Aly fic afterwards, but due to one major plot point (that I have already written), it makes more sense for it to be a Kel and Raoul fic. Although I could just rewrite the next two chapters (yes I have written them, no I am not posting them for a bit). Anyway sorry for my rambling and thanks to your reviews I might just rewrite the entire story from the original 'plan'.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all.**

**P.S. I'm really sorry in advance! I don't want to do this! But it's a part of the plot, so... if you don't want to read this part, I'll have the next chapter up soon.**

Kel woke up in the middle of the night. She glanced uneasily around her not-so-well chosen campsite, wondering what could have woken her up at such an unusual time. She couldn't see her sparrows, due to the lighting. She then heard a very quiet peep. Now that she knew where to look, the light of the full moon filtered through the trees enough that Kel could see eleven sparrows looking at her, clearly frightened.

She had learned to trust her loyal feathered friends with almost anything, so anything that scared her sparrows scared her, too. Kel silently packed up her belongings and began to make her way towards the road. She trusted that her sparrows wouldn't let her walk into danger. Kel became more and more unnerved as her sparrows seemed to urge her to hurry up. The last village was a full 2 days' run, and there was no telling how far the next village was. When she got to the South Road, she continued to jog as quietly as she could along the road. By her bad luck, no one was out on the road.

Just when Kel began to think herself safe, she heard footfalls behind her. Luck was not with her, however, and she could hear the heavy footfalls drawing closer and closer. She knew that no matter what she did, if this person continued to pursue her (if that was what it was doing), then there was no way she could escape without a fight. With this knowledge, she slowed down to conserve her energy. She grabbed her bow and made sure that it was limber and that she could easily grab her glaive if the need arose.

The footfalls were getting steadily louder, although Kel could tell that they were still in the forest. It sounded as if there was only one person, and that they didn't care if anyone heard them. This in itself was a small mystery; for unless this one person was incredibly strong, there was no way that they could hope to take an unknown enemy without the element of surprise.

"Unless," Kel's inner self told her, "they knew that they would be fighting a twelve year old girl who had been running for weeks."

Her heart beat faster and faster and Kel wondered whether it had been a good idea to stop running. After all, she was becoming more nervous by the second. Just then, the creature burst through the foliage on the side of the road.

The sight gave her pause. This was no bandit, nor a regular human being that was pursuing her. Kel was staring down a creature that was around seven feet tall, with cloven hooves as feet. Other than that, it closely resembled a human male, except that the creature had forward-facing eyes, horns, and a tail. She was, in fact, staring down a Tauros. It snorted and snuffled, and then turned to face her. Kel felt her breath freeze in her throat. The stories were perfectly clear about what happened to women subject to Tauros attacks.

"No," she thought fiercely to herself, "absolutely not. I'm no noble maiden who can't defend herself. I have a bow and my glaive. I'll be fine. I'll have to be fine."

As these thoughts passed through her head, she readied herself for the charge that was sure to follow. She cleared her head and let all of her emotions drain away. She proceeded to get into fighting position with her glaive, for the Tauros was too close to safely use her bow if she hoped to be able to draw her glaive afterwards.

Just as Kel expected, the Tauros let out a mighty bellow and charged towards her. It was not ready for the bladed staff that Kel was defending herself with, and swung with an air of competence. It was also not ready for the bladed staff called a glaive to give it a solid cut on it's right shoulder. The sparrows, always brave and loyal, darted in, going for the Tauros' eyes and face. However, the Tauros was now enraged by the fact that its prey had wounded it. It charged again, not paying any attention to the small attacking birds, and swerved at the last minute as Kel's glaive swung out in a sweeping motion. The Tauros' movement was enough to upset the angle that Kel had, which left an opening for the Tauros to exploit. Kel could feel its hot, panting breaths as it knocked her glaive in such a way that she was forced to let go to avoid a shattered wrist. Then, the worst began. Her last thought before she broke down was, "I'll never be able to prove Lord Wyldon wrong after all. Girls will never become knights, and it will all be because I couldn't defend myself from an immortal attack."

It leapt directly at her, and the force of the blow shoved her over. Kel fell and rolled to the side, hoping to evade the Tauros and retrieve her glaive, but the Tauros somehow had the sense to pull back and leap again, and before Kel could get up again it was upon her. Its horns gorged her breasts and stomach as the Tauros tore her clothing to shreds around her, and then the Tauros proceeded to do exactly what it came to do.

Kel didn't realize that for minutes she had been screaming, her Yamani calm totally gone, and leaving in its place a twelve year old girl who was being raped to death by a Tauros. Her screams carried through the near-silent forest, her pain filled shrieks waking all in the vicinity terrified and shivering in fright.

* * *

One person in the vicinity shot upright almost immediately, shivering uncontrollably. Then, another scream pierced the calm night air. Cursing silently, the man got up and ran in the direction of the scream. All of his belongings were in a bundle waiting for him, just in the case of an emergency. His long strides carried him towards his destination. He just hoped that he wasn't too late to help. The shrieks were becoming more and more constant, and since he didn't know who or why the person was screaming, he knew he had to be cautious. He could tell by the now continuous screams, the snarling breaths, and the heavy thuds that something awful was going on very nearby. He burst out of the trees to a sight that he was not ready for in the slightest.

Any person, he would willingly take, but what he saw made him roar in anger and, yes, fright. He saw a beast, and it was very clearly a beast, crouching over a small frame that had to still be alive because it's screams were the most anguished things he had ever heard. He pulled his sword and roared again, trying to take the monster's attention off of its victim. Just as he had suspected, the monster paused its horrendous assault in order to stare at the mysterious thing that was roaring at him.

The man used its momentary confusion to sprint towards the Tauros and immediately cut off its head. Satisfied that it would move no more, he pulled the shuddering body out from underneath the Tauros' mighty bulk. The small frame obviously belonged to a girl, due to the nature of the attack, but it would have been difficult to tell otherwise. Her clothing was in tatters; her hair was sweat and blood soaked in addition to very matted. Her entire body was covered in blood, hers and the Tauros'. She was shuddering and whimpering incomprehensively, and the man could tell that she was going to die of blood loss soon. With this in mind, he began a heavy duty healing. He healed the wounds so that they stopped bleeding, but there were so many of them that he couldn't spend his gift healing them completely. When he was sure that the small girl was not going to die anytime soon, he grabbed some of his fur-lined outfits out of his pack and wrapped her up in them before sending her drifting off to sleep.

What could he do with the girl? Even with the healing, he was sure that nothing he did could heal the wound that the Tauros attack had caused. He had come out in the hopes of finding Keladry of Mindelan, who he thought might have come in this direction. It seemed, however, that he now had a much more important mission.

He shuddered as he looked at the poor girl. His brain echoing with her scream, he lay there staring into space for a long time before finally drifting off into a fitful sleep.

**A/N: I'm not totally satisfied with this chapter (then again it's not like I enjoyed writing it so maybe that's why). I'm sorry it's so depressing but the story will get happier for the most part before too long- since I literally don't know beyond this chapter I don't really know when or if it will stay happy.**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I am SO SO SO sorry! You all were so kind and followed me and reviewed and such and I reward you by not updating for weeks. I have been in Italy on spring break for 2 weeks, and this chapter was just not writing. That being said, I apologize dearly for how bad this chapter is and how short it is. I figured I should probably give you something. I really promise that within 3 days the rest of the chapter will be up. Once again I'm sorry but don't lose hope, this story is going to keep going :) I'd love it if you'd review and thank you all for reading (this story and if you got through this authors note that too)

* * *

Kel woke up well into the morning, wondering why she had slept so late. The memories of the previous night crashed down on her like a wave, and with them the pain of the attack threatened to block out all else. She remembered the feeling as her glaive was wrenched from her hands. She remembered being knocked to the ground as if she had no strength. She remembered the excruciating pain as the Tauros did what it wanted. Great sobs rose in her chest, but she was determined to keep them back. It was then that she noticed the person washing over on the other side of the clearing. She became even more determined to keep quiet. She couldn't stay here and let some stranger take her away. It didn't even cross her mind that this stranger had helped her in any way. It didn't occur to her that her wounds were doing a heck of a lot better than they should have been doing. The only thing that infiltrated her pain filled brain was the thought, "panic."

So she grabbed her pack, glaive, and bow and took off into the forest, trying to be quiet so that the person wouldn't see her. She didn't know where she was running, but that she didn't honestly care anymore. She was too full of pain to think with anything that resembled sense.

* * *

The man turned when he heard a rustling and saw only rustling leaves all around. Cursing, he wondered what had possessed the girl to go running off from the person who had saved her from certain death. There was no way that he could catch up to her, since she had a head start. He was a mage from Third Company. It was true that he could use weapons fairly accurately, but his main power was magic. He was _not_ going trekking through the woods chasing after some girl who was clearly in shock. He used a speaking spell to let Raoul know that a girl in shock was running around in the woods near his location, and that he believed it was more important to find her than it was to keep looking for Keladry of Mindelan.

When Raoul received the message, he sighed. He had known that after an entire month, the King would expect him to come back and leave Keladry of Mindelan to her own ways. However, he had wanted to postpone it for as long as possible. Now, it seemed that it couldn't be prevented any longer. He wondered what had happened to some common girl that had caused one of his mages to send him the urgent message that she had to be found. He had split up third company into small groups a few weeks ago, hoping to find Keladry that way. It seemed that although he hadn't been successful in that, it had been worthwhile after all.

Raoul contacted his company by activating the mage spell and had everyone spread out in a circle around the area where the girl had run off. Although he had split everyone up, they had stayed close together in a general area. Raoul silently thanked the mage who had had the sense to immediately alert him that the girl had run off. It was time for the hunt to begin.

* * *

Kel glimpsed a bit of silver mail through the trees, and cursing her bad luck, she turned around and ran in a different direction. Trust her to run directly into the King's Own. What were they even doing out here? Normally the King's Own stuck to large-scale invasions, bandit attacks, and cleanup, not working in the woods. The riders usually took care of the more rugged terrain activities. She heard more rustling and made a rapid decision to run away from the noise. Normally she would be thinking more clearly and devising a plan, but right now she didn't have the capability to do anything. It felt like her heart was disconnected from her mind, which was disconnected from her body. Before too long, Kel stumbled upon more rustles and silver mail. She thought of just giving herself up to them; she thought of just giving up on living itself. Just now, life was not being kind to her. Somehow, though, she forced herself to push on and run in yet another direction. Everywhere she went, however, she saw the blue and silver outfits of the Own. An hour or so later, Kel had realized that the Own made a perfect circle around her and, they seemed to be closing in. Now, Kel really did give up. She just sat down and let the silent sobs overtake her. There was nothing in life worth living for. She had not been allowed to achieve her one and only dream. She was in excruciating pain, even with the healing that she didn't know she had had. To top everything off, she had just been raped by an evil immortal that she hadn't been able to hold off. There was nothing she _could_ do anymore. She heard the horses getting closer and closer, and she just closed her eyes and welcomed the inevitable.

* * *

As the circle closed, the men of Third Company dropped out of the circle one by one. By the time the men had closed around Kel's resting place, only Raoul and eleven other men were left. When they caught sight of the girl lying unconscious on the ground, Raoul immediately summoned one of his healers. He commanded the eleven men to stay in a circle around the girl, Raoul, and the healer, just in case she woke up and tried to run off again.

When the healer examined the girl, he commented to Raoul, "It looks like her worst wounds have already been healed, although not completely. She has so many injuries, I'm surprised she hasn't died of blood loss. It seems to me that someone had to use whatever gift they had to heal her as best as they could. If this is what she's like now, though, I hate to think what she was like before. I can't safely heal her when she has other magic in her system; it will have to wait for a day or so."

"Drat. Will she be okay until then? Speaking of, will she wake up soon? Is she okay _now_?" Raoul asked, disappointed.

"Sir, I believe that she was simply exhausted. If we wanted to wake her up now we could, although I recommend that we wait until she wakes up herself," the healer replied.

"Do just that," Raoul replied, and raised his voice to tell his men, "All right boys, we're staying here for now. Don't you worry, we'll be returning to Corus soon."

Mixed cheering and disappointment met his statement. Although they would get to return to Corus, they had failed in their mission.

* * *

Kel woke up to someone shouting followed by mixed cheers, whoops, and whistles.

"Where am I?" she thought for a moment. It took a few seconds for her to remember- the running, the attack, waking up and doing more running, and then accidentally stumbling into a circle of the King's Own. When she had been unable to find a way to escape the circle of men, she had just given up and sobbed before falling asleep.

Then these men must have found her, and these men must be the King's Own. She wondered how many of them there were.

"Aha! I think she's waking up, Sir," the healer commented to Raoul.

"_They must be talking about me,"_ Kel thought. Well, if they knew that she was awake, then she might as well face them, she figured. She wondered what they planned on doing with her. Of all the stupid ways to be found, it would have been that Kel hadn't noticed a large circle of the King's Own. Mentally shaking her head at her stupidity, Kel opened her eyes. She started to sit up, and was helped by a pair of hands that belonged to the person kneeling beside her.

This person proceeded to ask, "Can you sit up, or are you too dizzy?"

Kel responded, "I'm fine. I just fell asleep, that's all. Where am I?" she asked, faking ignorance. It wasn't as if she knew where she was, anyway.

"We're in the forest around 11 days ride from Corus. Are you from a village near here?" the man asked.

Kel started. They didn't know who she was, then. Or at least they didn't yet. That would probably change, though. However, she was taking no chances. If they didn't happen to know who she was, then she was _not_ planning to enlighten them. All of this meant that she had to figure out how to reply to his question, and fast, so that she didn't seem suspicious.

"Not exactly…" Kel said, trying to hint that she didn't want to talk about it.

The man seemed to take the cue. "Sir, she's awake. She seems perfectly well enough to talk, if you'd like. I don't think she's from around here, but I'm not totally sure."

"Wonderful. Thank you, Jackson. I appreciate it. Why don't you go and join the men while I talk to her for a while?" Another voice, filled with authority, responded to the healer's comment.

A big man with thick, curly hair and sloe black eyes scrutinized Kel. Kel, for her part, just crossed her fingers behind her back and hoped that she would not be recognized.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	6. Chapter 6

C.6

**So I was very ****unhappy with Chapters 6, 7 and 8 (which I wrote and then read over). I felt like they were abrupt and badly written. Alors, I have decided to rewrite them. The things that happen are somewhat different, so I recommend rereading this chapter. Sorry about the setback, but I'm back on track now... I hope. I love you all especially my lovely reviewers. Shout out to Lollypops101 for reviewing many times :) **

**And without further ado, here's the new chapter... I hope it's better.**

Reminder: _A big man with thick, curly hair and sloe black eyes scrutinized Kel. Kel, for her part, just crossed her fingers behind her back and hoped that she would not be recognized._ - that's what just happened last chapter. Now without further ado:

"Hello there. You led us all on quite a little chase there," the huge man said while smiling slightly.

Kel began to panic. He knew who she was, then. Had the Own been _looking _for her? No, they couldn't have been. It was just chance- pure, awful chance- that had gotten her discovered. And her failed skills as a warrior- but she wouldn't think about that until she got out of this predicament.

"Hey, it's all right," he continued, noticing her panic, "we're here to help. Where are you from? I hate to bother you when you're injured, but if there's someone that we should be notifying, then we should do that."

If it weren't for the fact that it would arouse suspicion, Kel would have cheered. So they _didn't_ know who she was after all! But she still needed to think fast to answer his question. Even if she didn't think she could ever be happy again, she would not let them return her to the Convent.

"I'm not from near here," she said quietly, with her head down and trying her best to look sheepish. "I, uh, ran away. I can't say that I thought it out very well, as you can see."

Kel couldn't keep a small note of bitterness from her voice as she talked. She had figured that in order to seem genuine, she should stick as close to the truth as possible. The problem was, it was a delicate balance between telling the truth and giving too much information.

"You said you aren't from near here. Are you from Corus, then? Why did you run away from home?" the tall man asked gently.

Kel looked down and replied, "No, I'm from south of here. I followed the road up here, but then…" her voice broke, but she continued all the same. "I ran away because my dad wanted to arrange a marriage to the blacksmith's son, but he's much older than me, and he's mean, and I really just want to be a part of the Riders."

Kel knew that this man, who she knew as the Knight Commander of the King's Own, or Lord Raoul, could not expect a young common girl to plan ahead in terms of running away. What she did not know was that the Lord Knight Commander was in fact a very kind and easygoing man. She also forgot a couple of small details…

"That's just not right," Lord Raoul stated fiercely. "You're nowhere near even presentation age. Don't worry, unless you want me to, I won't be returning you to your father."

"Oh, thank you, my Lord! I cannot thank you enough, and I am terribly sorry that I stumbled into your camp. I thank you for your care," Kel exclaimed, trying to act ecstatic. He was letting her go! It was too bad that she was just too numb to be happy at all.

The knight looked rather confused, and it was then that Kel realized that a _real_ young village runaway who had been attacked as she clearly had been would not be quite so excited to get away from the people that could help her. Too late now.

"Oh, no," the knight stated carefully, "you aren't leaving just yet. For one thing, you're awfully injured. For another, you are very obviously malnourished. You look like you haven't eaten for a week. Your clothing is in tatters, and I'll admit I'm curious, so I'd like to ask you a couple more questions.

Kel knew immediately that there was no way that she could refuse him in character, so she just nodded.

"Wonderful. Now tell me, how did a village girl like you get a hold of this nice bow?" the Lord of Goldenlake asked.

Ah. Yes, she'd forgotten about that. And that meant they had her glaive, too. Gods, how could she lie her way out of this one?

"My gracious Lord, my father was a hunter. As if he'd ever teach _me_ how to hunt- I'm just a _girl._ But all the same, I took his bow, and figured I'd learn how to shoot. I had to, to eat."

Lord Raoul made a disbelieving sound and continued grilling her with questions, "Be as that may, I don't see how you've stumbled upon _this,_" he said with his eyebrows raised, holding onto her precious glaive.

Kel couldn't believe her bad luck. That wasn't strictly true, actually. She was really beating herself up over the fact that she couldn't hold off one measly immortal, which had resulted in her getting caught by the Own. Just thinking about the attack made her freeze up.

"My Lord, that is the one valuable object that I have, and I think I'll keep to myself how I came by it," she said, slightly more upset than the Kel people normally saw.

"I'm afraid you'll have to tell me. I promise that if you answer this question, I'll only ask one more. I'm sorry if it's personal, but this is how it must be," Lord Raoul stated apologetically.

"Very well. If you must know, I stole it off of some Yamani woman. Now are you done?" Kel snapped rudely. Stealing was the only way she could think of to make up for her _naginata_.

"Oh, yes. That's where I remember it from. I remember being told that Keladry of Mindelan was proficient at the spear because she was so good at the glaive, which she learned in the Yamani Islands. You stole it, then? And what did that accomplish? You can't wield it, and you sure can't eat it," he said somewhat angrily, which only stood to reason seeing as she 'stole' it.

"I… don't know, My Lord. So I'm done then, that was the last question?" Kel asked dully.

"Sorry, one more," Raoul said, "what's your name?"

"It's… Marikiel, my Lord," she said hesitantly.

"Marikiel. That's an unusual name," Lord Raoul said with a slight smile.

Keladry's smile was sad when she said, "Yes, well, it suits me. I'm an unusual girl, my Lord."

"I suppose so. I suppose so, seeing as you've run off as you have," Lord Raoul pondered.

The knight studied girl carefully. She was obviously malnourished- anyone could see that- but she also looked stronger than she let on. She had medium length dirty blonde hair that reached about to her shoulders. He eyes were hazel with specks of gold in them, and were framed by blonde lashes. Lastly, her skin was a medium tan, with freckles all over her face and arms. He smiled slightly to himself. She looked just like any girl would be expected to look after being on the run for a week or two.

Marikiel spoke, jerking him out of his thoughts.

"Sir, what are you planning to do with me? After all, I've stolen a weapon from an innocent lady and my father, but you promised not to return me to him. And as much as I hate admitting it, I can't go on my own out here. I can't sir, I really can't," she asked pleadingly. Her face was devoid of emotion, and as was her quiet voice until she got to the part about not being able to go out on her own. Raoul wondered what had happened to her that caused this girl so much fear. She seemed quite brave otherwise.

"Well… I can't do much about the glaive, so you might as well keep it. I refuse to return you to your father, because I'm 40 and I hate matchmaking mothers, so I won't send you back to a matchmaking father when you're all of… How old are you?" he asked.

"I'm eleven. So what _will_ you do, then?" Kel said, blankly as a sheet. When she said that she was eleven, it had reminded her that she had lost her virginity at eleven to a monster that wasn't even human.

Raoul saw her tense up, eyes seeing some nightmare unseen by him. "Easy, Marikiel. If it's all right with you, I'll bring you back to Corus. I'm not sure exactly what will be done after that, but I promise you won't go hungry. Is that all right?" He asked, speaking softly and gently.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice. Where should I go to lie down?"

Raoul couldn't help but shake his head. What breed of girl was this, that was rescued and wanted out? What kind of girl thought that she could learn to use weapons like the glaive without any teaching? What kind of girl was sick and injured and still was willing to set up camp? And what had happened to her to make her so blank and emotionless?

"There's a tent ready for you. I'll lead you over there now, if you don't need anything else," he offered.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you, my Lord," Marikiel replied politely.

Raoul wondered briefly where she had learned to talk like a noble, but he quickly forgot about it as he directed Marikiel to her tent.

As Kel fell asleep, she thought about the day. She wasn't sure how likely it was that anyone- and by anyone she meant Raoul- knew that she was Keladry of Mindelan, and not Marikiel. She sighed. It seemed as though she would have to get used to the name Marikiel for a while. Raoul seemed very sharp, and slightly suspicious of her already, so she really oughtn't tell anyone to call her Kel. It would be interesting, though, trying to get used to being called Marikiel. With the name "Marikiel" bouncing around her head, Kel fell asleep.

Raoul, however, was far from asleep. He was thinking about the dirty-blonde girl who they had stumbled upon. And a lucky thing that they had, too. He knew that pushing the girl too hard about her injuries would likely have caused her to break down, and he wanted to hear it from her, but he also wished that he knew what was out there that had harmed her. He was also thinking about the things that didn't add up… Her story seemed believable, after all, for it was not uncommon for commoner girls' fathers to engage them at young ages if there was a good match. He could certainly see why she had run away from that fate. However, her obviously nice bow and arrows that were completely dirt free didn't quite fit. After all, if she didn't know anything about archery, she certainly wouldn't bother to clean her bow. To make it more interesting, there was the stolen _naginata_. It was also well cared for. Somehow, he found it hard to believe that she had stolen it, but there were no other obvious solutions in his head as to how she had obtained it, as she was clearly not Yamani. The girl seemed to have a lot of sense, possibly more than he gave her credit for. He very much doubted that she had really just stolen the _naginata_ for fun.

Wondering what was afoot, he wandered around the camp, talking to his men and letting them know what the plan was.


	7. Chapter 7

C.7A

**a/n: sorry. These last few and the next few chapters are kind of fillerish. I really am sorry…**

Disclaimer: I own nothing! It's all Tamora Pierce's. Also, anything that sounds similar to another fanfic was unintentional. You can let me know, but don't flip out at me.

* * *

This song fits this chapter well, I thought. If you don't know it, it's called **Demons **by **Imagine Dragons** and it is an awesome song! Listen to it

_When the days are cold_

_And the cards all fold_

_And the saints we see_

_Are all made of gold_

_When your dreams all fail_

_And the ones we hail_

_Are the worst of all_

_And the blood's run stale_

_I want to hide the truth_

_I want to shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

_No matter what we breed_

_We still are made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_When the curtain's call_

_Is the last of all_

_When the lights fade out_

_All the sinners crawl_

_So they dug your grave_

_And the masquerade_

_Will come calling out_

_At the mess you made_

_Don't want to let you down_

_But I am hell bound_

_Though this is all for you_

_Don't want to hide the truth_

_No matter what we breed_

_We still are made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_They say it's what you make_

_I say it's up to fate_

_It's woven in my soul_

_I need to let you go_

_Your eyes, they shine so bright_

_I want to save their light_

_I can't escape this now_

_Unless you show me how_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

Okay I'm done now for the story…

* * *

_She was running, running as fast as she could, but it was gaining on her. She had to fight. She turned and prepared to face off. It came at her, and she sidestepped neatly and spun, once again in a fighting stance. This time, when it charged, it slowed just as she was about to make contact, throwing her off balance. The glaive was wrenched from her hands…_

Kel screamed herself awake, muffling her scream in her pillow. Her blankets and sheets encased her completely, and she struggled to escape the cloth prison. Breathing hard, she went to pull on breeches before realizing that she had only the ripped and bloody breeches that she had been wearing. Schooling her terrified face into blankness, she tucked the sheets around her legs into a pair of makeshift pants. She walked quietly out into the slightly cooler outside air. She had no plans of running off, seeing as she had given her word. And after all, they'd just find her again, and then they really _would_ take her back to the convent. But there was no way that she was just staying in her tent. Upon looking around, she saw a hulking figure over near the fire. When she got closer, she discovered that the figure was none other than the famous Knight Commander.

_Perfect,_ she thought.

"Sir," she began, "Could I please go outside the camp for a bit. I give you my word as a pa-" She stopped, her voice cracking. "I give you my word that I will return before dawn. I need some peace and quiet."

"Some peace and quiet, you say? My dear Marikiel, I don't know what attacked you, but whatever it was, it could still be out there. Something else could attack you. I'm afraid I can't let you go outside the camp defenseless," the knight replied with eyebrows raised.

_Be as stone_, Kel reminded herself. _Be as calm as a still glass lake._

"Why don't you take a seat, seeing as you don't seem keen on sleeping at the moment? It's perfectly quiet here," The Lord Knight Commander asked.

There was no easy way for Kel to refuse. She breathed in the scent of fresh pine and closed her eyes, feeling the heat of the flames warm her face.

_Imagine how you'd have felt a year ago if someone said that in a year, you'd be sitting next to the Lord Knight Commander of the King's Own, _she thought. _Except that a year ago, you were determined to be a knight… a knight. Even after a month, the thought still stings. I have to accept it. I won't be a knight. They won't let me. I can't be a lady knight. I'm not allowed. Oh, the irony. A year ago, I'd have called anyone crazy if they said that I wouldn't want to talk to the Commander of the King's Own. But I'm not who I was a year ago._

The big knight left her alone to her thoughts for a bit, but he couldn't restrain himself from asking her questions.

"My dear Marikiel…. I hate to upset you, but I have to know- what happened out there in the forest?" He asked, and Kel felt as though a deadweight had settled on her shoulders.

"Sir..." Oh, how she didn't want to answer that. But she knew that no matter what, it would have to come out sometime. Maybe saying it would dull the pain. Maybe.

"I was attacked by a Tauros, sir. Someone… Someone came and rescued me before I died. He killed it. You have nothing to worry about," Kel said, her voice and face flat.

Oh, how he regretted asking now. He saw now that she had a perfectly good reason not to want to say what had happened. He wished that he could comfort her and tell her it was okay, but he knew that nothing he said would help. He knew that nothing he could do would dull the pain. He knew that everything was not okay, and that comfort would be impossible. He knew better than most that she had to recover on her own. Instead of comforting her, he did the only thing that he could think of.

"I'm terribly sorry, Marikiel. That is a horrible fate to befall anyone, especially one so young as you. Would you rather rest for a time, or would you prefer to ride out tomorrow?" The least that he could do was to give her the choice on what to do with herself. The least that he could do was offer her what friendship she could accept. Knight Commander or not, this girl needed someone to talk to, to confide in, or just to rely on to protect her.

Kel knew that she had to leave as soon as possible, to try to escape the terrible memories. She almost shook her head at her folly. She could escape the forest, but that would do nothing to quell her fear of the attack, the fear of what was done to her because she was weak. No, she could not escape her own demons, her own nightmares. And the only thing that she'd go back to would be Corus. Was she doomed to remain a commoner all her life? A maid in the palace, going about tending to all of the knights and pages that she had wanted to be? Was that what was to become of her? And once again, it returned to her own demons- after all, it was she who not proved herself as good enough to stay. It was she who had not been able to defeat the Tauros, and it was she who had been caught. It was her fault that this was happening to her. This Knight before her and the King's Own had "rescued" her. But had it done any good? There was nothing that they could do to save her from her demons. They could not rescue her from her failure, and they had come too late to rescue Kel. It was then that it dawned on her. No, they had not rescued Keladry of Mindelan. She had been killed when the Tauros had attacked her. But she was still alive. No, she was no longer Keladry of Mindelan, but she was Marikiel. Marikiel was still alive, and Marikiel would make a life for her self to prove that Keladry of Mindelan had left a mark on the world.

"Could we please leave tomorrow, my Lord? It would please me to leave this place far behind as quickly as possible," Marikiel said. For although the Tauros had killed Keladry of Mindelan, she certainly remained in Marikiel.

The surprised knight could see that there was a barely perceptible change in her when she talked. Although her face was still blank, she actually sounded like she cared. She sounded like she was ready to move on. He decided that he liked this girl. She had guts and determination, and seemed ready to pick herself back up and keep on going after terrible hardship. She reminded him of Alanna, in a strange, converse way.

"Very well, Marikiel. If the healer deems you fit, then we shall leave tomorrow morning," the knight commented.

"Thank you ever so much, Sir. I think I'll go to sleep so that I'm ready to go come morning." With a final bow, Marikiel stood up and left the campfire, ready to move on to the next chapter of her life.

* * *

**A/N: so I know it's short, and has been long in coming. Drama Club's over though, it was great! Hope I'll be able to keep up writing this story even with finals coming up. **

**A/N #2: I just want to really thank everyone for following my story. Your comments and follows just make my day, and they were what made me pick this story back up when I had dropped it off. Thank you ALL! 3**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to the mastermind Tamora Pierce

PS: If you think that I am stealing your plot: a) I'm sorry b) it was completely unintentional and c) pm me so that we can discuss it

**A/N: so, I found a song that I think goes really well with this story, and especially this section. It's called Every Storm Runs Outta Rain by Gary Allan. I used the lyrics and put my own tune that I thought fit better in my story to his lyrics. Here's the link, please go listen to it 'cause it fits the story **

** watch?v=GmV1lU0OMoo**

**A/N 2: I'm sorry it's so filler! I'm trying really hard, but I don't know how to write humorously, so :/ I am trying.**

Marikiel woke up early in the morning to the sounds of the King's Own. The birds in the forest were singing, giving Marikiel a more cheerful look on the morning than she ever would have expected herself to have. She pulled on the oversized breeches and tunic that had been left for her by the Commander of the King's Own- it seemed he had noticed her use of sheets as breeches yesterday night after all.

Outside the tent, men wandered around talking, cleaning armor, brushing their horses, and munching breakfast. Judging by the fact that all the tents were being taken down and all of the men were saddling their horses, Marikiel guessed that the Commander had let them know that they were to ride out.

As she wandered about, unsure of what to do with her self, she was approached by a good-looking man with dark hair and bright blue eyes. He smiled in a subdued manner at her and stated, "I've been asked to escort you to the healer's tent, fair lady, but I thought perhaps you'd like a bit of food first."

He bowed dramatically and handed her a turnover stuffed with meat and vegetables before holding out his arm. Marikiel put her hand on his arm and followed him to the healer's tent. The examination was quick. The healer healed the remainder of her cuts and gashes, and tried to dull the pain that she was sure to feel after the day's journey. Before long, the man was pulling her out of the healer's tent and they were heading towards the Commander.

"Before you can even ask, Sir, she's already been to the healer's tent and she's also had breakfast. Some men are packing up her tent as we speak," the kind man who had been escorting Marikiel told the Commander.

"Very good. Thank you, Domitan." The Commander's tone clearly held a dismissal to it and the man- Domitan- walked off. "Now then, Marikiel, we're just about ready to head to Corus. It should be around an eleven-day ride there on horseback. Can you ride, by any chance? We have a small horse by our standards, but by yours he might be big even if you can ride," the knight asked Marikiel.

Marikiel thought quickly and decided that there was no use lying. "I can ride, sir. My mother taught me, and one of the horses that I learned on was very large. I'm sure I'll be all right, thank you," Marikiel replied. She said it with a blank face, but her voice wasn't dead as it had been the day before. It seemed that she was already healing.

At this, the commander nodded and shouted at his men to be ready to ride out as soon as possible. A snub-nosed man appeared with three horses. One, a large black warhorse, he gave to Raoul. He gave a beautiful blood bay gelding that was around 15 hands to Marikiel, and he kept the third and final horse. In very little time, all the men were mounted up, including their Commander and Marikiel. The famous knight had asked that Marikiel ride up with him. Partially, it was because he wanted to see her ride, as most commoners could not ride, and most common girls could certainly not ride astride. Mostly, though, he wanted to make sure that this girl understood that the King's Own were her friends. It seemed as though she didn't exactly realize that.

The giant man gave the hand signal to ride out, and the company immediately began trekking towards the main road so as to have easy, direct riding to Corus. Marikiel couldn't help staring in awe behind her. She was sure that they were a sight to behold. Horses of all colors and builds, all moving in sync with the riders all in tunics of white and pale blue followed the lead of the imposing Lord Knight Commander atop of a stunning black warhorse. She had never seen anything like it before. The commander smiled at her expression. She gaped back at the column of horses behind them.

"You look surprised. What, did you think that we all rode mangy little packhorses?" the knight asked with a grin.

"No, no! It's just beautiful. The horses, the men, and the uniforms… ," Marikiel replied, still somewhat out of it as she watched the men riding behind them.

The knight smiled as he watched her take in the sight. He had to be impressed, and somewhat perturbed by her. She had obvious skill on the horse, despite it being too big for her. It did exactly what she asked even though her reigns were loose and she was staring backwards. No common girl whose father was a blacksmith would normally have that level of skill. But that aside, he trusted her and wanted to be her friend, for she seemed to have no others. Due to this, he spent the ride talking to Marikiel. After all, someone had to be there for her. And he intended to find out a few of her secrets.

* * *

A few hours later, Marikiel was engulfed in conversation with the knight commander when a sudden brown cyclone enveloped her. A sudden, small, brown, cheeping cyclone. Marikiel smiled as she recognized her sparrows. A relieved look crossed her face and she grinned even wider as they all settled on her horse's neck and her own head.

_I may be a completely different person, but some things never change_, Marikiel thought.

She caught her riding companion looking at her and gave a small smile. With any luck, he'd believe that she was a wildmage, and that that was the reason that she was good at riding. Yes, she knew her riding skills were somewhat odd. Maybe this would help a bit.

* * *

Over the course of the eleven-day ride, Marikiel felt like she really got to know the Own. For the first few days, she only rode with the Own's leader at the front of the column. She realized that the man was worth so much more than she had ever imagined as a child. He was, of course, tall- as the stories said- and he had dark, curly hair that matched his sloe black eyes. He was ruddy-cheeked and usually smiling.

She quickly found out that he was not a stereotypical knight commander. He joked around with his men and was sure to do the duties with them. He didn't act as if he was above them like most knights likely would in his position. No, he was more like a comrade that led the group than a commander. He never said a word against anyone, and he did as much or more as the rest of the men. Once he learned the extent of her comfort with the Own, he treated her as an equal. That was what Marikiel was most shocked by. She had come to realize that great men were great men, but that did not mean that they were fair or just men. However, this man didn't treat her as a noble, or a commoner, or a youngster, or most importantly a girl. After the first few days, she started riding with the rest of Third Company.

They, too, treated her as no less than an equal. It didn't take all too long for her to become close friends with the man who had shown her to the healer's tent so many days ago. His name was Domitan, but she had been told under no uncertain circumstances to call him Dom. Tall and dark haired, with bright blue eyes, he would be considered very handsome by even the pettiest of noble girls. However, what Marikiel most liked about him was his personality. Although the band around his arm signified him as a sergeant, his azure eyes always glittered with mirth, and he had the most success in getting Marikiel to drop her mask to smile or laugh at his dramatics. He reminded her of someone, but she really couldn't put her finger on whom. There were others that she befriended as well. There was a kind Bazhir man named Qasim who took to her sparrows and always made sure that they were fed with treats. Understandably, her sparrows liked him.

* * *

As they neared Corus, Marikiel began to worry. She had thought that she had put her past behind her. And while riding with the Own, she really had. She had fit comfortably into the role of a young common girl who's father was a blacksmith. She let out careful, small 'slips' about her past that indicated that her mother had come from a hunting family, and had often disagreed with her father. She 'accidentally' told them that it was her ma who had taught her to ride and shoot. When a few men challenged her ability to shoot, she quickly proved them wrong by taking down three grouses flying above them. From then on, the men insisted that she carry her bow and help them hunt. Most of the time, Marikiel genuinely forgot- or unconsciously blocked out- the fact that she had actually been Keladry of Mindelan, the girl noble who came from Yaman and tried for her shield.

However, when they were a few days from Corus, Marikiel _really _started to worry. She really had put her 'behind in her past'. But when she returned to the palace with Raoul (as she had been told over and over again to call him and still refused), could she really block out all of the memories of the place? Could she meet some of the men she had despised and had grown to love without cracking? That, she wasn't sure.

Marikiel whistled a jaunty tune as she set up camp with the rest of the men. Dom had informed her that he planned to play a prank on his men this evening. As the "common girl traveling with the Own", she very firmly informed him that she refused to get involved, but at this she broke down in giggles and admitted that she sure was looking forward to seeing it happen. Apparently, though, she would have to wait until morning to see the results of the prank, so Marikiel was forced to just wait and see what Dom had done.

* * *

That night was very difficult for Marikiel. As she lay down to sleep, she couldn't help but to worry about the upcoming entry into the Capital City. For one thing, she had no idea what Raoul would do with her. For another, she was paranoid that someone would recognize her, either by looks or magic. And just to top it off, she wasn't sure how she would react if she had to talk to someone like her friends, Duke Baird, or one of the advisors, since they were Raoul's friends. That night, her worrying overcame her and a week of work building herself up as Marikiel crashed down around her.

_She was five years old again, and as she peeked out from behind her mother's skirts, she saw an island unlike any that she had any seen before. As she descended the gangplank with her mother and father, she caught her first glimpse of the people that she would be living with for the next six years. She remembered what her parents had told her- here it was rude to show emotions- but she couldn't help the wonder that crossed her face._

_She watched as Nealan of Queenscove volunteered to be her sponsor in place of Joren of Stone Mountain. He took her arm and showed her all around the palace, stopping to talk to friends and to make funny and dramatic comments._

_Kel was riding Peachblossom now, and she felt the elated confidence of knowing that she would hit the quintain dummy's shield. As she thundered by, she raised her lance and struck the shield directly in the middle, safely passing the sandbag for the first time._

_Now she was with all of her friends, and she confronted them all about the meaning of chivalry and the importance of standing up to bullies. This time, when she went to fight Joren and his gang, she had a group of comrades by her side._

_Kel was out on the spidren hunt now, and she felt the familiar fear, exhilaration, and adrenaline kick in as they started the hunt. She watched as a few sparrows came up to her, cheeping expectantly and holding a branch with spidren webbing on it. She explained to Lord Raoul- Sir, as Qasim told her he preferred to be called- that her sparrows could lead them to the Spidrens._

_But now, Kel's dreams began to turn into nightmares. She fought her oldest brother, Conal's grip as he held her out from the balcony of her favorite tower, the highest tower at her home in Mindelan. She watched her father threaten to disown Conal, and she realized that she would never be able to seclude herself in her favorite tower again._

_Suddenly, she was in the palace in Corus. She was with her father saying goodbye to him for the last time before she started page training. As she walked into her room, she was met with the loathsome sight of her precious room chaotic, with words like "You won't last!" and "Just go home!" written on the walls._

_She watched, frozen, as Joren and his cronies pushed Merric around. When Joren and his friends approached her, she turned tail and ran. She could hear their laughter reverberating around her skull even as she rushed into her room._

_She walked, head up, into Lord Wyldon's office, fighting to control her expression. She looked him straight in the eye as he told her that she couldn't return. She looked him straight in the eye as he told her that because she was a girl, she couldn't come back. She looked him straight in the eye as he told her that she wasn't as good as the rest. She looked him straight in the eye as he crushed her dreams._

_Finally, the nightmare of nightmares returned. She turned to face her pursuer, but when it burst through the foliage, she felt the familiar shock and dread at the sight of the six-foot tall bull/human hybrid standing before her. It charged her, and with a blank mind she settled into her fighting stance and, using a sidesweep, she gave it a bleeding gash on the soldier. However, after weeks of little food, her muscles weren't ready for the Tauros' next charge. As it neared her, it hesitated, leaving the opening that it needed to wrench Kel's glaive from her hands. As it attacked her, she was unaware of her unearthly screams._

* * *

Kel finally wrenched out of her nightmares, sure that she had been screaming in her sleep. Shaking, she tried to imagine herself as a calm glassy lake, but for once it did nothing. She ended up simply trying to slow her breathing down. She climbed out of the tent, shivering as the easy breeze hit her sweat-soaked clothing. She had thought that she had left Kel behind, dead in that fateful clearing. It seemed, however, that she was wrong. Kel remained inside of her, ready to return at a moment's notice. However, there was a bit of a dilemma now about who she ought to be. She could choose to embrace her noble self, her old self. That choice would remind her of the things that had to be done to change the world. It would remind her that sometimes life is hard, but so are you. Additionally, it would avoid the random Kel dreams whenever she got stressed. Unfortunately, that would also mean returning to the pain of being Kel. It would mean the constant reminder that she had failed to achieve her dream. Her nightmares were clear enough about that. Plus, if she returned to being Kel, than she wasn't sure what she could do with her life.

Her other option was to leave Kel behind and continue on with her life as she had been doing. She could be happy as a commoner that was saved by the King's Own, and perhaps even favored as such. However, she'd be living her life without doing anything substantial for the world. She would never be able to prove that girls were good for someone. Besides, what could she do as a commoner? Clean rooms? Cook? Not exactly… She wouldn't be able to serve Lord Raoul, the only warrior who would or could teach her, because he always rode with the Own and she was a girl. No, there was nothing that she could do for herself as a commoner. But to live without the pain that Kel brought with her was just so tempting…


	9. Chapter 9

**Everyone ready to kill me yet? Yeah, I know, I know. But literally, I haven't been home for more than 5 days in a row since June 1****st****, so try not to kill me. It's not even long, either. But I tried **

**The song is called "Do It Now" by Ingrid Michaelson.**

* * *

_You say that you got nothing left_

_There's nothing left in you to find_

_You're gonna ride it out, gonna wait it out, living to die_

_You're living to die_

_No one's gonna wait for you_

_No one's gonna wait for you_

_So do it now, do it right now_

_Don't waste a minute on the darkness and the pity sitting in your mind_

_And do it right now, and do it right now_

_Everything will stop on a dime_

_Everything will crash into itself in good time_

_Do you wanna beat your own heart, beat your own heart_

_Or leave it behind, or leave it behind?_

_No one's gonna wait for you_

_No one's gonna wait for you_

_So do it now, do it right now_

_Don't waste a minute on the darkness and the pity sitting in your mind_

_And do it right now, and do it right now_

_I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get right out of bed, get out of my bed_

_You're gonna stand up, you're gonna stand right up again, stand right up again_

_I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get right out of my bed, get out of my head_

_You're gonna stand up, you're gonna stand right, you're gonna stand up_

_You're gonna stand up_

_So do it now, do it right now_

_Don't waste a minute on the darkness and the pity sitting in your mind_

_And do it right now, and do it right now_

_Do it right now_

* * *

Kel sat quietly, still brooding at the fire when the first light slipped into the sky. Even in her somewhat perturbed state, she grinned at the sight of Dom slipping out of his tent and winking at her.

"All right, men, up and at 'em! It's a glorious morning and I daresay we'll be in the palace with beds and baths tomorrow, so let's go!" His yell was not nearly Sir Raoul's bellow, but it was effective in getting his men out of their tents…

And covered in muddy water that was suspended outside of their tent flaps as they exited. Their shouting woke the rest of the camp, causing many to poke their heads out of the tents to see what the commotion was. Meanwhile, Kel giggled hysterically over by the fire at the men's outraged squawks. A bad morning had quickly developed into a good one. Especially when their squad leader just raised an eyebrow at their antics, causing a good many to curse and yell at Dom. Yes, this morning was a good one, moral dilemma or not.

An hour later, Raoul had whipped the men into formation and everyone was ready to move on out. The day passed in relaxed banter and joking, for despite a few muddy men, Corus was within a day's ride. Third Company never got much time at the palace, so any time to relax was a good time in the Own's books. Kel was less than happy at the upcoming ordeal awaiting her, but she decided that for today, at least, she would just be happy to relax and remain as "Marikiel". Another mood booster was that when Raoul permitted Dom's squad to bathe that evening, they returned completely yellow, causing everyone to break out into fresh laughs. Dom confided to Kel that he had put sulfur into the mud so that it would stick to the men after being caked on for a day, with a result of yellow men for a few days. Kel chuckled once more at his pranking prowess- yellow right when they entered Corus, and they the men that loved to flirt.

That night, Kel dreamed for once, instead of having nightmares.

_A hazy image appeared, as if she was looking through fog or water. She could see a figure that stooped over another figure. A glow that could only be magic flowed out of the taller one and into the shorter one. Then the glow stopped moving, settling for the most part around the taller figure and leaving only a faint residue around the shorter. _

_The image shifted and rearranged itself. This time, the glow was flowing from the shorter one, who appeared to be much taller, to the other figure, who still held a few inches over the magicless figure. Then the glow disappeared from the shorter one altogether, leaving them to lift their head and walk through a set of double doors. The taller person shook their head and wandered in another direction. _

_The image distorted once more, and this time she was looking down on a still-hazy image that seemed to be a ballroom or celebration of sorts. As the person strode through the doors at the end of the hall, everything seemed to fade in importance until the figure reached the dais. Suddenly, the hall was filled with voices whispering, shouting, and gossiping, "Marikiel? Marikiel?"_

"Hey, Marikiel, wake up! And here I thought you were a light sleeper!"

Kel opened bleary eyes and nearly leapt back at the sight of a pale face with dark hair and blue eyes looming over her.

"Finally! Come on, we're getting ready to go and my lord wanted me to fetch you. You were sleeping like a rock!" The figure, who she could now tell was Dom, exclaimed.

It didn't take long before Kel gathered up all of her things and was ready to head on out. As the company's guest and commoner, she would be riding with Sir Raoul as they entered Corus, and therefore wanted to look good for her entrance to the city. She had brushed her hair and tied it back neatly in a style that she had seen female riders use before that kept her looking practical but feminine. She had donned a pair of the loose breeches and had chosen her nicest on-loan tunic that was practically a dress; it was so long. Now she sat upon her gorgeous gelding, whose name she had learned was Forest. After a month and a half, it was time to enter Corus.

Her mind, however, was far from Forest, far from the Company, as they all began the half-day ride to Corus. The dream had been very strange, although only wisps of it remained in her brain. The haziness had been unsettling, as was the fact that she didn't actually see anyone in the dream. That had never happened to her before. But something about the dream made her more determined than ever that somehow, she would be a warrior. She would remain as Marikiel only so as not to arouse suspicion, but she would return to being Keladry of Mindelan as soon as possible. The familiar ache of not being a knight seemed to return the second she came to this realization, but it only made her more determined to become a warrior however she had to. It was time to stop running and start acting. Speaking of which…

Sir Raoul began explaining to her that once they got there, she was going to have to decide what to do with herself. Although he wouldn't make her go back to her old family, he also couldn't really figure out what to do with her. He wished that he could take her with him, but alas, the King's Own was _not_ a babysitting force.

Kel sighed. She knew that when they returned, this would happen, but it was one thing to know and another to figure out what to do with herself to conceal her secret and become a warrior. She didn't have long to make a decision, and it needed to be a good one. Her whole life could ride on this decision that she had to make as an eleven-year-old. All too soon, they were riding through Corus and towards the castle. As they marched along the road threading up to the Own's barracks, she held her head up high as people stared at the small girl riding with the Knight Commander of the King's Own. She shook her head as the sardonic part of her brain pointed out, _Well, look at that. Finally everyone is looking at you; everyone is respecting you. And yet you lost your dream. How fitting._ She shook her head again and played the part of an awed commoner once more; she had to pretend that she had never seen anything as glorious as this. She was so busy acting that she didn't notice that she was passing a corral of beautiful horses and that one was examining her very carefully.

Kel glanced up in time to see a very fierce looking destrier charging at the fence that separated him from the column of the Own. The Own scattered to cries of "Crazy horse!" Even Raoul spurred Drum forward, out of the way. But Kel just broke out in an ear-to-ear smile, forgetting for a moment that she was supposed to be Marikiel. Despite a young woman's calls of "Peach! Stop!", he continued to race toward Kel until he got alarmingly close, at which point he slowed to a more sedentary pace.

From across the paddock, Daine tried to stop Peachblossom, and short of that, she shouted, "Miss! Watch out! He bites, and I'm not sure what he's so riled up about!"

Ignoring these cries, Kel leapt off of Forest and went up to Peachblossom. She stroked his head, holding back tears, as she tried to explain and apologize for leaving him. She also told him that although she loved Forest, Forest had nothing on him. Then she remembered that she was supposed to be Marikiel.

_Oh, crap._

She looked up to the incredulous faces of Third Company to the suspicious one of Lord Raoul. She quickly vaulted onto Forest and told Peachblossom to go back to his paddock and that she'd see him _later_. As she rode up to Raoul and he glanced at her, and back to his company, she saw him shake his head before yelling at them to move out. He tried to ask what had just happened, but Kel tried her best to brush off the questions. "Perhaps you'd like to work with Daine?" he asked. _That_ got her attention. She wasn't sure whether or not Daine and Numair would be able to tell who she was. It wasn't like she was using a magical illusion, and although they had been her teachers, she knew that she had changed a lot. But Daine was sure to realize that she had no wild magic. Then she remembered what she had told herself earlier that day.

_So do it now, do it right now_

_Don't waste a minute on the darkness and the pity sitting in your mind_

_And do it right now, and do it right now_

_Everything will stop on a dime_

_Everything will crash into itself in good time_

_Do you wanna beat your own heart, beat your own heart_

_Or leave it behind, or leave it behind?_

That was what decided her. "Yes," she said to Raoul, "I would _love_ to work with Daine."


	10. Chapter 10

Kel fidgeted, pulling nervously at the sides of her breeches and tunic. After their eventful return to Corus, she had been hiding out in the little room that Raoul had granted her upon their return. She had been asked question after question about what had happened, and had dutifully brushed off every query. Raoul had spoken to the King yesterday, he said, and it was completely okay for her to go and talk to Daine, the wildmage, to see if she could work for her. Thus, Raoul had apparently talked to the wildmage yesterday, who said that she'd be glad to work with Raoul's mysterious commoner. The wildmage knew that something was up. All of the horses had not gone running over to her. But the fact that Peachblossom of all horses had been the one to go running befuddled her. However, she was very glad to help the poor girl out, especially when Raoul told her about how upset the girl had been, and how he wished that she could stay with the Own but she couldn't. Daine didn't know the entire story, but she figured that there was no harm to caring for the girl for at least a short amount of time.

And so Kel fidgeted, trying not to pace and remind herself of Neal. She was attempting to convince herself that there was no way she would be found out, and if she was, she could just take Peach and run. Raoul had even given her back the glaive and bow and arrows, saying that Daine was a master hunter and was sure to have a few pointers for her. If she and Daine got on, Kel would be moving to quarters near the Wildmage's. After what felt like an age, Raoul knocked on her door. He swept her up into a bear hug as soon as she opened the door, making her laugh and readjust her outfit. "You'll get on fine," he said, "but Third Company will miss you. Don't you forget about us, lass."

She grinned, "I would never. Besides, I'm not gone yet, and neither are you."

He acknowledged that with a grin and began escorting her through the palace. She had a shock when they passed through the page quarters, but she forced herself to resume a relaxed face and ask where they were. Before she knew it, she stood before Numair and Daine's door.

"Good luck, Marikiel. Have fun! You'll be fine, don't worry," Raoul smiled, a bit sadly, and walked off. Steeling herself, Kel knocked three times on the door.

The Wildmage opened it, a pleasant smile on her face. She greeted Kel and let her in. She was finally going to get some answers. She was just opening her mouth when Skysong started chattering to her very rapidly and insistently. Despite her care of Skysong, she brushed the dragonet off, much to her unhappiness, and turned once more to "Marikiel," who was smiling.

"Allright then. I'm Daine, and this is my dragon, Skysong. Raoul told me that you wanted to help me out. Actually he said that you wanted to learn from me, but you don't appear to have any sort of magic. So what's up?" She questioned, getting straight to the point. Kel replied carefully, "I'm Marikiel. You're right. I don't have any sort of magic- no gift, sight, or wild magic- but I do love animals. I've been traveling with the Own, as you may know, but I can't continue to do so. I guess I was hoping to help you out however I could, but I don't mean to impose," Kel said quietly, trying to keep herself from slipping to the familiar Yamani Mask.

Daine smiled gently, still trying to figure this girl out. "I hear you had a bit of a-" she paused "rough time with it, but liked the Own. I'd love for you to be my assistant, and you're really not imposing, but I'm not sure that there's much you can do for me. I'm sure you're good with animals, but without wild magic… Can you explain the sparrows that were perched all around you when you rode in? They didn't seem to be _pets_ per say, but they clearly adored you. And maybe while you're at it you can tell me why Peachblossom charged you, didn't bite you, and was thinking the entire time, "She's back"?

Kel tried very hard to think of good answers to that. She really did. But none were coming to mind just then, her mind instead jumping to Peachblossom and wondering whether she'd have to run off so soon after returning.

Daine raised one eyebrow as to her lack of an answer, before suddenly having a mental epiphany. Well, it really had more to do with finally listening to Skysong, who was still trying to tell Daine that it was Kel, the girl page. Daine's eyes widened for a minute, taking in the common-like appearance as well as all of the strange occurrences. Suddenly it all made sense.

"Unless, of course, you were really Keladry of Mindelan," Daine stated very quietly.

Kel froze. She knew. Daine knew, curses upon curses.

Daine paused, seeing the panicked look in the girl's eyes, which only confirmed her hypothesis. She also saw the look of a fox willing to chew off it's own foot to escape a trap. "Hey, hey, calm down. I'm not telling anyone, and there will be _no _running away. Do you promise not to run while I tell you a little story?" Grudgingly, Kel nodded.

Daine began, "Once, there was a girl. She was around 13 years old when bandits ransacked her house while she was away. They killed her mother, grandfather, dogs, horses, and even the chickens. The only thing that the girl had left was the horse that she had been riding. When she saw what had been done to her house, she went crazy. She went to a wolf pack and explained to them what the bandits had done and why she needed help hunting them down. For weeks, she traveled with the pack and her horse. Then, one day, they finally took on the bandits. By this point, she was a wolf in all but physical appearance. The bandits were overpowered, and the girl survived, but her horse began biting her whenever she went into wolf mode. Unfortunately for the girl, the townspeople tried to kill her, telling her that she was crazy. For weeks they hunted her until she escaped to a horse fair in Cria." Daine had a very sad, faraway look in her eyes. "At the horse fair, she offered a lady who was looking for an apprentice to be her helper when she took her horses from Cria to Corus. Even though the girl lied to her about her age, and the lady wanted someone older, she took on the young girl despite her strange ways with the animals." Now Daine smiled gently at her. "As they were going to Corus, the girl and lady ran into one of the lady's friends due to a creature that needed help. The lady's friend was Sir Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau, and Alanna gave this strange girl her friendship. Later, the girl got a teacher for her magic. One day, she realized that she needed to tell someone about the madness if she wanted her magic to get better. She forced herself to tell the lady and her teacher about the "madness" and was given a solution. Instead of turning them against her, it made her life easier to tell them her secret." Daine looked straight at Kel. "Yes," she said, "the girl was me. Everyone has secrets; nobody is perfect. I'm not about to shun you or tell on you. Most of us believed you deserved a chance that you didn't get. I'm sorry for what happened, but I'd be glad to take you in like the lady took me in, for I'm sure sometime you'll make me proud. Does that sound like a deal?"

Kel's head was spinning like a top as all of the information tried to catch up to itself in her head. After a few moments she looked at Daine incredulously, mask forgotten. "You won't tell anyone?" she repeated, sure she had misheard.

"No one except Numair, who won't tell a soul," Daine replied truthfully.

And so it was that Kel joined Daine and Numair. She continued to act the part of a commoner, and although she enjoyed the work that she did for Daine and Numair, she felt that something was missing. She got to spend a lot of time riding Peachblossom, a fact for which she was immeasurably grateful. Kitten became her best friend, a confidant and a friend, despite the fact that she could not speak. Perhaps that was what made her Kel's best friend: the fact that she could listen in silence, offering up only comforting trills when needed. Kel also picked up a stray dog that was about to be chopped in two by a cook. The memory made her laugh. _She had been walking through the courtyard when something small, furry, and white rushed in between her legs. She turned back around in time to see a cook waving a meat cleaver and threatening to cut the dog, which was cowering behind her legs, into pieces. The cook had _not_ been happy when Kel had refused to let him at the dog, saying that she was an ignorant commoner who didn't know anything. But when she told him that she worked for Daine, he had backed off, apologizing, and gone back to work with a slightly put off expression on his face._ Kel had given the dog to Daine to take care of, but Daine had said that he had become attached to her. Now, the little terrier Jump followed her everywhere. And yet she felt incomplete, although happy. The only times she felt at ease was when she was riding Peachblossom or practicing her archery, which was improving in leaps and bounds under Daine's watchful eye. Although she didn't possess Daine's natural skill, Kel's archery was vastly better than most full-grown archers, a fact that she took pride in. And yet she hid it, as she did everything. She didn't realize that the animals knew more than she thought, and that they confided to Daine. One day, Daine and Numair finally confronted her about it.

They told her that they would do whatever they could to make her happy, and asked her to trust them and talk to them. They asked whether there was anything that they could do to help her, to which she replied more bitterly than she realized, "There's nothing you can do. Nothing, thank you all the same. The only thing that could be done was not done two months ago, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. No, sometime I'm sure I will find my way, but for now I'll just keep bumbling along. Thank you both for your consideration." Daine, forever perceptive, could see the undisguised pain in her eyes, and Numair, although often oblivious, could hear the sadness with which she spoke.

They talked about what could be done to make her happy, but came to no obvious solutions. It seemed as though the eleven-year-old was right. But sometime, they were sure that she would find her way. That unfair decision would be forgotten, leaving the determined warrior that she really was behind.


End file.
